SCBU

After a well deserved brew of tea and slice of toast (would have preferred a bacon butty and cafetiere of coffee myself) i was wheeled to see my boy in SCBU (special care baby unit) There he was in a glass fishbowl recovering from his ordeal. All seemed fine and off i went to get a well deserved rest :0) Mother and baby doing well...............

Then followed cards, flowers, a stream of rellies all actively participating in the joy a newborn brings. Laughter filled the room as the nurses brought me this wonderful contraption to ease the pain of the bruising to my lady parts!! (to much info???) the down side was i had limited access to this gift from heaven and no amount of cajoling the nurses could gain me unlimited access......bummer wonder if they take bribes......desperate times call for desperate measures. 

We weren't out of the woods but the room smelt of optimism to only be dashed within days as my boy took a dramatic down turn. 

From elation to despondency within hours. From the moment the doctor walked into my room and imparted the news that my son had suffered a fit and was very poorly (they thought bowel infection) and that i needed to phone my husband to immediately come to the hospital  the bubble of euphoria was burst. 

With trepidation and unsure of what to expect i followed her down to SCBU he was very ill...............soon to become the sickest baby they had ever had in the unit now that's a claim of fame we could have done without. 

HE dutifully arrived and we sat holding hands and clutching at straws listening to all we were being told.......He had contracted septicemia (E Coli) and the next 24 hours were crucial.....the next 48 hours were crucial.........he was struggling but boy what a fighter.....seemingly boys give up the fight easier than girls but not my boy he fought like a bloody trouper for life. Sitting watching him and seeing his tenacity to live was emotionally overwhelming..............All my natural instincts as a mother kicked in Christ like a lioness with her cub the desire to protect took me completely by surprise it was an emotion so powerful, so all invasive everything else took a back seat including HIM. 

They made us a room up alongside SCBU so we could be close and on hand, making the decision to restrict visitors was easy to do i allowed my sister he his sister and they were dealt the onerous task of updating people. That way was easier and meant we could focus our energy on little one..........also somewhere in the back of the mind was that if their was to be a loss of life fewer people would have bonded and would be less hurt if he lost his fight. 

I remember standing looking out of the hospital window down onto the scene below and realised that whilst my world had come to a dramatic and grinding halt the rest of the world were just going about their business. A tear trickled down my face i wanted to scream stop this is important .............

perhaps the feeling of isolation started then but i know it put my situation into perspective in that we were merely a small dot in the scheme of life...............and what would be would be. 

So with best face on and seeking positives amongst all the negatives I took a deep breath and watched over my boy..............offering reassurance were i could the little fella would clutch my thumb in his tiny fist............the bond was there we were ready to fight the world.............come what may BRING IT ON